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Greetings cherished readers. Just a quick note to advise you that the events portrayed in the poem below have happened to me over the past few weeks.

Dreams

It all starts with a series of stressful events one after the other.
So rapid-fire that you are constantly on guard for the next thing to happen.
You’re stressed demeanour and outlook becomes a reflex.
Your anxiety levels spiral out of control without you realising it.

You don’t take your Valium as you think it won’t hold the anxiety.
Your head begins to buzz violently and you are now constantly dizzy.
It is now with you all the time
As your body twitches and your gait is stiff.

You hear music in the distance that you know isn’t really there.
Becoming agitated, you don’t know what to do next.
Laptop. Bed. Television. All in ten minute bursts.

Overthinking all of the time.
So short is your attention span.

Then the ‘fun’ starts. This unattended stress has to catch up at some point.
In my case it begins with dreams so vivid and plausible that they merge with reality.
I am too afraid to speak in case I mention a bizarre dream as if it really happened.
I become too afraid to go to sleep as I know that these dreams will return.

All symptoms mimic the sensation of how I felt prior to alcoholic seizures.
I was going to call an ambulance but figured I would only be drugged up and sent home.
I had an appointment in two days with my GP. He knows me much better.
Could I hold out that long?

I held out to see my GP.
My parents took me as I was still lucid enough to know that I should not drive.
He reinforced the importance of Valium in my case.
This time it was a lesson well learned.

I took a dose of Valium on returning home.
Within ninety minutes the last four days nightmare melted away.
I did not think that this drastic change would be possible.
This further reinforced the directions of my GP.

I could not have written this two days ago. I could have easily written a vivid dream.

Lessons learned?

Don’t overthink.
Don’t let stress go unattended.

It will eat you alive.
I know.

 

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