vodka

The room reeked like a bar.
My first impression was a poor one.
If this is A.A. it better change quickly.
It didn’t.

As the weeks went on
The stories of others changed.
They were inconsistent
And they smelled of alcohol.

I would often see members
Staggering out of a pub.
They would see me and turn around
As if it made them invisible.

I took a breathalyzer to a meeting.
They all feigned bravery and blew into it.
Not only did they register alcohol
They were ALL over the legal limit.

“It’s a faulty machine.”
“It must need new batteries.”
“I haven’t had aa drink for 20 years!”
The meeting finished quietly & early.

Further meetings were farcical to me.
Even driving there dragged me down.
More lies & mixed up stories
But I was desperate to quit alcohol.

My abstinence teventually came
In the form of 2 bottles of vodka .every day for years
I had a seizure 2 days after trying to quit one time.
And ended up in hospital. Critical.

It gave me time to think.
I had exhausted every avenue.
At the end of the day
It was down to ME.

8 years sober & I don’t miss the drink.
I’m petrified of it.
Of what it turned me into
And the time that it had wasted.

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